A Comprehensive List of Men Who Have Wanted to Date Me in the Last 72 Hours
Hypothesis: Men who are very much used to being turned down by women look at me and say, "I have a shot at that."
1. Senior Citizens, Subdivision: Holocaust Survivors Today, I met Mike. A suave 89 year old electrical engineer from Poland, he not only asked me to dance a whopping four times, he also showered me with compliments. And then went and danced with other girls. Those sluts.
2. Julian Van Cleef: Millionaire Extraordinaire Last night, as Caitlin and I refused to leave Thompkins Square Bar and Grille (wonderful beer selection, abundance of strange regulars, myself included) a tall, thin, spindly man entered the bar in a Hugo Boss suit. Which was about 3 sizes too big for him. Naturally, when he couldn't offer me a business card, he jotted his name down with a phone number and shouted "Google me!" Worse, I did.
3. Old Lounge Singer at the Dresden I saw you making those moon eyes at me, Phil. Don't deny it. And answer my goddamn phone calls.
4. Lesbians You know who you are, and I apologize for my heterosexuality. But Lilith Fair is coming up, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Conclusion: I will someday write a very disturbing best-seller.
"Men who are very much used to being turned down by women look at me and say, "I have a shot at that." " nonsense indeed.
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