You know you've hit a wall at work when you can't even amuse yourself with cat videos any longer. To be fair, cat videos are really a last resort for me, but today is another 12 hour day where I have no one but the internet to amuse me. Facebook stalking gets old after 15 minutes, CNN has nothing new to offer, and your favorite blogs fail to update every time you refresh the browser.
A book, you say? What do you think I am, a college girl? Psh, reading. Soon you'll be suggesting I start thinking about things, getting ideas, becoming involved in local politics and initiatives. Idiot.
So I've compiled a list of things to do at work when you're not really working.
1. Hop on to imdb.com. It's about as addicting as Wikipedia, but less about historical nonsense and more about movie trivia. For the record, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day are going to be in a movie together. BRB losing my shit.
2. Think about food. Fantasize about the lunch you want; this takes up a good 45 minutes of possibility, which leads to indecision, crippling hunger, frustration, bargaining, and ultimately--once you've realized you have about $4 and there is not a restaurant in the world that will make you a lobster-and-watercress salad for that--Arby's (it's how they stay in business). WARNING: Do not begin this thought process more than 45 minutes before lunch; you will hate yourself.
3. Stop thinking about food. Give the good people over at This Is Why You're Fat a visit. This is to be followed by feeling terrible about your inevitable Arby's decision.
4. Work. For about 15 minutes. Don't be a hero.
5. Meddle. Maybe stir up an unnecessary debate on a nerd blog about why James Cameron is a hack. Aintitcool is a good place to start.
6. Cat videos. Let's be real. This was your first stop, I really just rearranged the order.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some celebrities to cyberstalk.
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